LATE ENTRY OSCAR CONTENDER RIGHT HERE

WELL TOO BAD THAT MOVIE CEDAR RAPIDS WASNT GOOD(a great man once called it "STUPID RAPIDS"). THE GUY FROM THE OFFICE WAS IN IT- MISTER ROOT DEE DO, AND THE STEVE BRULE GUY AND ANNE HECHE (NOT A LESBIAN) ANYWAYS

MAYBE I WOULD HAVE RATHER SEEN GNOMEO AND JULIET THAN CEDAR RAPIDS..
SHOULD I WATCH DEWEY COX TO MAKE UP FOR THIS CRUMMY COMEDY? THERE WERE ACTUALLY NO JOKES. THE ONLY FUNNY STUFF THAT HAPPENED WAS MY PAL CHARLIE SPITTING ON THE GUY INFRONT OF US IN THE THEATER, AND MY OTHER PAL WADE BEING EMBARRASSED TO BE SITTING WITH US. ACTUALLY MY OTHER PAL (YEAH I HAVE THREE FRIENDS!) JASON WASNT EVEN SITTING NEXT TO US CAUSE HE WAS ALREADY EMBARRASSED TO HANG WITH US. BASICALLY, THIS MOVIE MADE MY FRIENDS HATE ME.

SO ANYWAYS THE MOVIE HAD A STUPID PLOT THAT MADE NO SENSE AND DOOMED IT TO SUCK-- AND NO BABES IN IT? HOW CAN A MOVIE BE GOOD WITHOUT A SINGLE BABE IN IT?? COME ON, PLEASE?

THE MOVIE TRIED TO TAKE A CRAPPY THING LIKE BEING AN INSURANCE SALESMAN AND MAKE SOMETHING FUNNY OUT OF SOMETHING TOTALLY OBVIOUSLY SHITTY, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? GOOD, OR TOO BAD.

GUEST CRITICS SAY:

"THERES NO SUCH THING AS A LOW BUDGET, HOLLYWOOD COMEDY. IF ITS NOT PICKED UP BY THE WEINSTEIN BROTHERS, CHANCES ARE, ITS NOT THAT FUNNY"( I EDITED WHAT HE SAID SO HE DIDNT SOUND STUPID)

-GUEST CRITIC WADE

AND

"WISH OFFICE GUY HADNT BEEN IN THE MOVIE, STEVE BRUELE HAD BEEN THE MAIN CHARACTER AND THE PRODUCTION TEAM HADNT BEEN A LITTLE GIRL ON A TRICYCLE" ( AND I DIDNT BOTHER TO EDIT THIS ONE)

-GUEST CRITIC CHARLIE

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, TWO REAL SMART GUYS WITH THEIR TOTALLY VALID OPINIONS. AT LEAST WHEN I LEFT THE MOVIE I REMEMBERED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A FAKE STAIN ON THE MOVIE SCREEN TO GET A READMISSION PASS FOR LATER. OH WAIT, AND THEN THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A LESBO COUPLE ALSO DOING THE SAME THING ABOUT AN ACTUAL PROB THEY HAD WITH THE SCREEN ONLY MADE MY COMPLAINT EVEN MORE VALID/VALID AT ALL.

I GOT A REFUND INSTEAD, WHICH WAS EVEN BETTER THAN A PASS TO GO SEE SOME OTHER MOVIE THAT WOULD SUCK. MY LIFE RULES.

.

STAY COOL, FELLAS!
AND STAY OBSERVANT FOR OSCAR COVERAGE FOR SUNDAY, DONT WORRY

THE CAPS LOCK REVIEW, THE BEST CRITIC OF EVERYTHING SAYS HAPPY NEW YEAR

OH HAY THERE; LONG TIME NO C

HERE WE GO- ONE OF THE SEASON'S BIG IMPORTANT MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIES, BROKEN DOWN LIKE THE SCHEMATIC OF BILL CLINTON'S COLON THAT I HAVE ON MY BEDROOM WALL.
BLACK SWAN: THIS MOVIE WAS OKAY.
Okay so I saw that natalie portman
and MILA KUNIS (who was in BOOK OF ELI) were making out in the trailer so that was cool..

and also the wrestler was pretty alright of a movie..AND everyone was talking about this movie coming out like.. FOREVER... so i guess i got kinda psyched when I was sitting by myself in the movie theater waiting for the previews start. ANYWAYS, if no one had psyched this movie up then I would have enjoyed it more.. it was just a basic horror thriller type movie with a couple of sweet effects:

and two hawt babez. Natalie portman is a ballerina and hallucinates a bunch of stuff since ballerinas are crazy and subject themselves to lots of physical trauma like not eating, barfing up what they do eat, and fucking their bodies up to do all sorts of crazy dancey type shit. The ending was dumb, she kills herself, whatevz.
OKAY--------->COMING SOON TRUE GRIT REMAKE 2010 REVIEW!!!!!!
(Oh boyyy do I got a lot to say about that movie)